You don’t have to read this at all, this is just here so I can let go of things before I do something I’ll later regret.
Okay, seriously. I’ve had enough of people’s shit. I’ve had it for years now, and it’s the same thing. They don’t even bother thinking up new things to call me, or things to say about me to try and hurt me anymore.
And yet, even though I’ve done nothing, nothing whatsoever, to like hurt them, or make them feel like shit everyday, they just continue like I don’t even matter.
But that doesn’t mean I want them to make that feeling even worse. I wish they’d just stop, leave me alone, however, I know they won’t. I know I’m young, they’re young and all of that but I didn’t think that in today’s society they’d be so pathetic to pick such an easy target to aim at. I fucking well know I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m quiet, I’ve no confidence, I never really like the things that most people do. I’m different from them, an outsider, nothing more than a punch-line to their stupid jokes. So, hey, who wouldn’t pick me out to do the same to?
All of their shit have just made my situation worse, and I now have to go to 2 doctors because of it for self harm and for depression. I know they’re not worth my blood and tears, but I feel like there’s no where else to go anymore, there’s no where to hide from things. This is almost the end. They’ve almost got what they want.
Another thing is, a lot of the time I see people that say, “Everyone’s beautiful. It doesn’t matter how much they weigh or where they’re from” or something along those lines, and yeah at first, they give me some hope in humanity that there are at least some decent people out there, but some people I know who say that, are the ones who feel the need to try and finish destroying me until we leave school next year, when I’m out of their way and we’re at college or whatever, and that’s what really annoys me. How can they fucking dare say that, but then be such a hypocrite and say the opposite to my face and behind my back, at school, with their friends and even on the internet where they can be confident as they want because no one can really do anything about it. No one does outside of the internet either.
I don’t even need them to say those things to me though. I say the same to myself, because I mean, they’re right. Aren’t they? But with those people added along side what I think and feel about myself, I just can’t face having to go anywhere anymore. I can’t be human, I must be some weird creature that has almost become extinct and I’m the final survivor.
I want it to end because I know I’m not the only one in this. There’s millions of other people in the same or similar situation I’m in who have even gone as far as killing themselves, and for what? For some sick, twisted, self-centered, stupid cunts who think that making fun of someone for reasons they have little control over or their insecurities just to make themselves feel prouder of who they are in comparison. They’re not worth any one’s time, never mind someone’s life. People need to seriously think about what they say because next time they open their mouth, could be that one thing that tips them over the edge.